LITTLE JHONNY   Little Johnny wanted to be an accountant, so he went for an aptitude test: Tester: If I give you two Rabbits, and two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got? Little Johnny : SEVEN! Tester : No, listen carefully again. If I give you two Rabbits, and two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got? Little Johnny : SEVEN! Tester : Let's try this another way. If Igive you two bottles of beer, and twobottles of beer, and another two bottles of beer, how many bottles of beer have you got? Little Johnny : SIX. Tester : Good! Now, if I give you two Rabbits, and two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got? Little Johnny : SEVEN! Tester : How on Earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven? Little Johnny: I've already got one rabbit at home! GAS STATION A fellow stopped at a rural gas station, filled his tank, and took a break by his car while drinking a soda. As he relaxed, he watched a couple of men working along the roadside. Oneman would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other man came along behind him and filled in the hole. The men worked right past the man and continued on down the road. Overcome by curiosity, the fellow headed in their direction. "Hey there," he said. "Can you tell me what's going on here with this digging?" "We work for the county government," one of them said. "But one of you is digging a hole and the other is filling it up. What's up with that?" the man asked. "Well," the worker replied, "normally there's three of us - me, Rodney, and Mike. I dig the hole, Rodney sticks in the tree, and Mike here puts the dirt back, but Rodney's out sick." "So what does the work you're doing accomplish?" asked the man, not quite believing what he was seeing. "Well," Mike said. "Just because Rodney's out sick, that don't mean we can't work, right?"

PRETTY TEACHER  The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her young students so she took him aside after class one day. "Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?" "I'm in love," replied Little Johnny. Holding back an urge to smile, the teacher asked, "with whom?" "With you!" he said. "But Little Johnny," said the teacher gently,"don't you see how silly that is? Sure I'd like a husband of my own someday... but I don't want a child." "Oh, don't worry," said Little Johnny reassuringly, "I'll use a rubber!".

HIGHWAY Little Johnny was with his mom as she was driving her old beat up car on the Highway. She tried to keep up with traffic but they were flying by her. After getting caught in a large group of cars flying down the road she looked at her speedometer to seeshe is doing 15 miles over the speed limit. Slowing down she moved over to theside to let the group of cars get ahead. She looked up and saw the flashing lights of a police car. Pulling over she waited for the officer to come up to her car. As he did he said, "Ma'am do you know why I pulled you over?" Little Johnny peeped up from the back seat, "I do! It's because you couldn't catch the other cars." LITTLE GIRL

One day a nursery school teacher saysto the class, "Who can use the word DEFINITELY in a sentence? A little girl jumps up and says... "The sky is definitely blue!" The teacher replies, "Oh Sorry Amy, but the sky can also be gray, or orange..." A little boy quickly says... "Trees are definitely green!" Teacher replies, "Oh Sorry Michael, but in the autumn the trees change colour..." Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and shouts, "Does a fart have lumps?" The teacher looks horrified and says,"Johnny! Of course not!!!" "Then I have DEFINITELY poo my pants!"